Temptation

A Confession:

I went through a real temptation yesterday evening with my fast.  I have been doing pretty well on the fast for the most part and then BOOM!  Starting the 17th. day of the fast at sundown yesterday, I had a real heavy food temptation.

You may be tempted to laugh when you hear.  I am.  And it happened to me.

I settled in for the evening and was sitting quietly when I had a heavy urge to go into the kitchen and open a can of chili that I had seen in the cabinet.

Mistake # 1.  I got up and went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet door and Looked at that can of chili!   I shut the door and my body screamed at me. (a metaphor for how I felt!)  I mean I had a real crises moment with that can of chili.   LOL     I wanted it SO BAD!

Mistake # 2.  I opened the door again and gave myself an excuse.  I heard myself say: "You may as well eat that chili and get past this."   "Just start back tomorrow."

The urge to eat that can of chili was almost physical in it's intensity!   The thing is... I was not having hunger pangs!  But is was so compelling!!!  I left it and walked around and even prayed; "God, why is this so hard?   I'm Stronger than this.  This shouldn't be this way."

OK,   I acknowledge that this is NOT a major sin.  In the scheme of things, it's really not all that big a deal.  People are hungry out there with no food, no home, no way of getting them.  People are dying in other countries for the cause of Christ.   So my little petty battle isn't really all that much...  except...

I am trying to consecrate myself to God.  I want to be closer to Him and I didn't want that can of chili to come between the bigger picture for me personally right now.  I want closer to God.  I want His Spirit to be more real to me every day... I want to walk in relationship with Him in my life.
Then I hear that still small voice.  "Who's the Boss?"   Are the cravings of my flesh so strong that I am willing to allow them to keep me from fulfilling my heartfelt desire to be closer to God?  Who is the boss here?   My flesh, or have I yielded myself to serve the Living God?

So I went back into the living room, sat in my chair for a little while longer and then went to bed thanking the Lord for His grace in the moment.

Prayer:

Lord, I remember the wise words of Stephen Covey in His book; "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".   "Private victories precede Public victories."   Thank you for reminding me that the small victories that we face in private precede what we are in our very public walk with you and there is no substitute for those small victories.  And sometimes they can seem pretty tough.   AMEN!